As I have received an inordinate amount of inquiry re: backstage passes for the “Jules Bar” and similar requests, I felt a follow-up explanatory article presented with Visual-aids by Alphonsus Greer, our enigmatic Bartender and Man for all Seasons, our Man of the Hour, would be appropriate, but alas he is momentarily otherwise preoccupied …
A remarkable fellow Alphonsus…
In another life he was an infamous Xeno-psychologist, who became unfortunately too involved ( here…try some of these Off-World delicacies, they were grown in vats in a low-Earth orbit) yes, too caught up in the darker, murkier side of some of his patients lives.
As a result, he changed career mid-flight and became a Virtual web detective and began to build up a large network of contacts.
However lady luck was not with him, and he was captured in the act as it were, inside one of the largest corporations known, attempting to extricate some precious algorithms from their blissfully ignorant wetware container i.e their head of Foreign Relations.
However lady luck was not with him, and he was captured in the act as it were, inside one of the largest corporations known, attempting to extricate some precious algorithms from their blissfully ignorant wetware container i.e their head of Foreign Relations.
The giant entertainment leviathan ‘Dream Machine’, remains the original and still the best Internet Dream retailer on the planet.
He would have remained imprisoned by the corporation like a fly in amber, filed away in some vast cool database of dreams and abandoned for ‘Virtual’ centuries were it not for some small assistance I was able to offer him at that time.
He would have remained imprisoned by the corporation like a fly in amber, filed away in some vast cool database of dreams and abandoned for ‘Virtual’ centuries were it not for some small assistance I was able to offer him at that time.
As a result, Alphonsus feels he owes me this eternal debt…and so he works here at the ‘Jules Bar’ as our unique and irreplaceable Bartender…sigh…
Despite having fired him countless times, he insists on reminding me with his suspiciously inscrutable accent (some sort of hybrid of South African, New Zealand & Swiss) and equally inscrutable logic that as he owes me a lifelong obligation; he therefore cannot be fired…
For those of you who are having difficulty finding the correct alleyway to ultimately gain entry to the ‘Jules Bar’…a clue…surfing in the right coordinates of space & time whilst wearing a particular rune stone and holding a Siamese cat in the midst of a fairly concentrated meteor shower, on a moonless night, after having ingested large doses of amphetamine washed down with a third of Vodka…has been reputed to be quite efficacious.
Also get Karl heinz Stockhausen playing somewhere at enormous bone atomising decibel levels…
If all else fails you could try a ‘Kurlian Wand’ and see if you can at least get an outline of the building and the alleyway…
I hear those of a more empirical persuasion, shouting; ‘What about the Science?’
I would simply remind them of the prolific examples which History offers of where a particular process or phenomenon was not initially understood, and was viewed as something else entirely.
Although contemporary investigators do not, as of this report, fully comprehend the phenomena known as ‘Jules bar’, we know at least that it exists and apparently for it’s patrons this is sufficient.
As one regular was overheard saying : ” look it’s the same for everything in our new world, you have a black box which does this or that, you don’t know how it works or why, you just know that if you fiddle with the right dials and toggles that it works!”
As one regular was overheard saying : ” look it’s the same for everything in our new world, you have a black box which does this or that, you don’t know how it works or why, you just know that if you fiddle with the right dials and toggles that it works!”
In much the same way we don’t understand Quantum Mechanics, no-one does…Quantum Mechanics appropriately implies that the Universe is a giant computer simulation and so far this is sufficient i.e we simply know that it exists and that it works, i.e that our computations hold up.
The secret behind the persistence of vision in this instance as it applies to the ‘Jules Bar’, has thus far been attributed to ‘Dark Energy’ however some recent papers published in ‘It’s A Scientific World’ magazine claim that this extraordinary manifestation can in fact more correctly be attributed to the Quantum Zeno effect, named after that classic gem of ancient Greek philosophy : Zeno’s Paradoxes, the article goes on to describe a situation in which an unstable particle, (for the sake of argument let’s say from the Bar-counter) if observed continuously, will never decay…hence the multiplicity of Atomic cameras throught the atrium and embedded in the various level ceilings at the ‘Jules Bar’.
“One can literally freeze the evolution of a System by measuring it frequently enough in it’s initial state.” gushed an excited quantum Physicist in a recent interview.
Although we don’t as yet understand the language of the new arcane 4D Sciences…apparently the Universe does…and sometimes…just sometimes, it replies in a most spectacular way…i.e the “Jules Bar”.
Unfortunately the Quantum Zeno effect has received it’s fair share of negative, unfavourable press of late due to the persistent, nagging rumours about a basement laboratory beneath ‘Jules Bar’ in which some spurious experiments are meant to have been carried out regarding the QZE and a hypothetical Immortality drive…the rumours go on about there having been problems with the ‘Containment Field’.
The music and decibel levels are ultimately not of major significance…you could alternatively try pan-pipes recorded in Machu Picchu or even a Zen Flute inside Cheop’s Pyramid.
More important is Timing.
More important is Timing.
Timing is really of the utmost importance because you need to consider a multiple simultaneous attack on your senses in order to create the correct frequencies and sub-harmonics necessary to be able to fluidly and with aplomb get past The Doorman from Hell and enter the ‘Jules Bar’…and naturally this is still only a part of the answer.
I’m afraid I may have said too much…Some of my more elusive, private guests will not be happy…
